Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Written by: JK Rowling

First line: Non-magic people (more commonly known as muggles) were particularly afraid of magic in medieval times, but not very good at recognizing it.

Why you should read this book: Voldemort has slunk out of sight, but Harry has plenty of other problems in his third year at Hogwarts, including being pursued by a large, canine specter of death, attacked by floating, corpsified specters of death, a professor who repeatedly predicts Harry's imminent death, and not having a parent or guardian to sign the permission slip that would allow him to go into town on the weekends. Meanwhile, the vicious killer, Sirius Black, has escaped from the wizard prison of Azkaban, and all the adults are hiding his apparent intent from Harry in the name of protecting Harry from the truth. Armed with his trust cloak of invisibility, which Harry seems incapable of hanging on to for more than five minutes at a stretch despite it being one of the most valuable artifacts on the planet, plus a magic map that reveals more than most maps can manage, and, of course, his friends, Harry will try to survive this book while playing quidditch and passing his third year of school (this book is also notable for Hermione smacking Malfoy in the face).

Why you shouldn't read this book: You still hear the screams of your dead parents.