The Two Towers

Written by: JRR Tolkein

First line: Aragorn sped up the hill. 

Why you should read this book: The fellowship shattered, the remaining members go their own way: Pippin and Merry, kidnapped by the Uruk-Hai, managed to escape and make friends with an ancient, sentient, ambulatory tree, who is very interested in their story about what's happening outside the forest; Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas enjoy a few days of ultra-marathoning in pursuit of them; and Sam and Frodo head south to complete their absolutely impossible mission. With the destruction of Isengard by the Ents, the emasculation of Saruman by the very much not dead Gandalf, the rallying of various noble men to the cause, and the return of Gollum, it almost feels like the party is making progress. Then everyone goes off again on further impossible suicide missions. 

Why you shouldn't read this book: Well, you have to read the first one first. 

The Fellowship of the Ring

Written by: JRR Tolkien

First line: When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday, with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton.

Why you should read this book: The story of an unassuming little halfling who leaves behind a life of comfort and ease when he inherits a weapon of mass destruction that is too powerful to even be handled by any creature with more gumption and ambition than a hobbit hits different when you are actually living in a world where a dark shadow is indeed crossing the land. Accompanied by his faithful gardener and two adventurous cousins, Frodo Baggins sets off on a very long ramble, to figure out what to do with this insidious artifact, is pursued by unspeakable terror, is aided by the forces of good, and eventually finds direction and companionship. Determined to undertake an impossible and suicidal quest for the benefit of his entire world, Frodo is the hero to inspire the least among us to strive to do great things in the face of great evil. 

Why you shouldn't read this book: You don't want to read one of the greatest stories ever told. 

Nana & Kaoru Volume 6

Written by: Ryuta Amazume

First line: Is my mom really...DEAD?

Why you should read this book: Kaoru's mom is not really dead, but she does manage to guilt trip him into moving to Okinawa, and he justifies his abandonment of Nana because she's going to leave him for university anyway, so what's the point of torturing himself for another year? In Okinawa, he finds that his skills as a ropemaster are in high demand, and he enjoys a scene with his favorite fetish model before realizing that BDSM, for him, is inextricably entangled with his emotions for Nana; meanwhile, Nana realizes that she can't live without Kaoru. She travels to Okinawa twice to salvage their relationship, which still seems undecided until the (very) satisfying (but somewhat unbelievable) climax of the story, after which the young couple agree that whatever the future holds, they will make their decisions together. 

Why you shouldn't read this book: You don't really understand BDSM.

Nana & Kaoru Volume 5

Written by: Ryuta Amazume

First line: "Zero points"? What" What does he mean?

Why you should read this book: Forced to confront their emotions by a crotchety old leather master, Nana and Kaoru both acknowledge their bond and the symbolic nature of a collar to keep them tied together, after which Kaoru makes Nana a bespoke collar, with love, leading to a fun, full-circle encounter in the field where he first took her after her first collaring. There's a fun sequence where Tachi and Mitsuko top Kaoru in the basement of the bondage shop (deepening his relationship with Nana), after which we get a very different story about a couple in their twenties, toying with BDSM to save their relationship, who are both advised with great perspicacity by the now wise in the ways of kink teenagers Kaoru and Nana. But the book ends with the main characters once again being forced to confront the fact that they have only a year of high school left, and there are no guarantees in life, because loved ones can disappear in an instant. 

Why you shouldn't read this book: This one actually has sex in it, but, due to Japanese censorship laws, the male genitals are drawn as magic markers.

Nana & Karou Volume 4

Written by: Ryuta Amazume

First line: What am I doing?

Why you should read this book: As the end of their junior year approaches, Nana and Kaoru continue having increasingly intense BDSM sessions while revealing to themselves the depths of their feelings for one another. Kaoru tries to improve his grades so Nana won't leave him behind at college, while giving her everything she needs to finish out her high school career strong, weathering her own tribulations and never letting anyone down. For her part, Nana begins to worry about a life without Kaoru, and begins to think more carefully about his needs and happiness.

Why you shouldn't read this book: This is a softcore BDSM manga that contains, among other things, three entire chapters of teenage perverts scouring the internet to find an obscure pegging video from the '90s for a dude they don't even like as a person, in the name of helping him regain his pride. If this is distasteful or nonsensical to you, likely you should not get anywhere near this book. 

Howl's Moving Castle

Written by: Diana Wynne Jones

First line: In the land of Ingary, where such things as seven-league boots and cloaks of invisibility really exist, it is quite a misfortune to be born the eldest of three. 

Why you should read this book: As the eldest of three sisters, Sophie expects to lead a boring and unfulfilling life, until the day she bumps into Wizard Howl, learns that her sisters have swapped identities, and runs afoul of the treacherous Witch of the Waste. Transformed into an old woman (and gradually realizing she's more than a little witchy herself) Sophie takes refuge in Howl's moving castle, a magical hideaway powered by an opinioned fire spirit. While the Miyazaki film based on this book is delightful and one of my favorites, the book is much richer and deeper and will hold many surprises and details that wouldn't fit into the movie.

Why you shouldn't read this book: You're a cowardly womanizer.

Nana and Kaoru Volume 2

Written by: Ryuta Amazume

First line: The name's Sugimora Kaoru.

Why you should read this book: This sweet, exploratory, completely nonsexual BDSM fantasy story about two Japanese high school students fumbling their way through desire continues with Nana and Kaoru's secret relationship impacting their interactions in their school life, which then flows back into their "breathers." Several chapters comprise Nana's first spanking, and then there's a weird interlude with Tachi strongarming Kaoru into a scene after he and Nana miss their connection on New Year's Eve, and finally there's an absolutely massive storyline about Nana getting sick and needing a lot of help to insert a suppository. Meanwhile, Nana's friends are starting to question her relationship with Kaoru, Tachi is getting really jealous, and Kaoru struggles with his feelings of love, tenderness, and devotion to his sub, none of which seem dominant to him, all of which he's sure Nana would reject. 

Why you shouldn't read this book: It's a funny softcore BDSM fantasy manga about teenagers, so probably a lot of people just aren't going to vibe positively with this content, and they should just step away and go cry about obscenity somewhere else, because this page doesn't believe in literary censorship.

The Republic of Salt

Written by: Ariel Kaplan

First line: It was three nights until the New Year, and in the mountains north of Mazik Rimon, Naftaly Cresques was lying on the ground beside two old women and a Mazik who was mostly dead. 

Why you should read this book: The second novel in the Mirror Realm cycle, this doorstop of a fantasy novel picks up pretty much where the last one left off, with Naftaly and his crew in the Mazik land and Toba and the now-mortal Asmel back in the human world, and all of them knowing that if they can't stop Tarses from taking over both realms it's not going to go so well for anyone. Arduously, all the characters must travel to Zayit, outwitting enemies, finding surprising allies, eating lentils, and learning more about magic, especially as it pertains to part-mortal magicians. The pacing is good, so that the story keeps moving forward in a Lord of the Rings kind of way, even though it takes everyone a very long time to get where they're going. 

Why you shouldn't read this book: Due to its structure and the way Naftaly's powers work, it's kind of obvious precisely how the book is going to end (hint: a cliffhanger). 

The Pomegranate Gate

 Written by: Ariel Kaplan

First line: Naftaly was dreaming again, in that strange dreamlandscape where the stars whirled overhead like snow on the win and the people he met all had square-pupiled eyes.

Why you should read this book: In this powerhouse fantasy epic beginning in the Spanish Inquisition with the expulsion of the Jews, the narrative moves between that world and a parallel world populated with magical beings, a strange and even more dangerous place which both mirrors and influences the human realm. Separated from her family and the group of Jews fleeing the country, a young woman named Toba, who is both clever and clumsy stumbles through the gate into the land of the Mazik. This new place is complex, and operates by rules that Toba does not quite understand, but if she wants to survive she will have to untangle the mystery of her own past, and events that took places a thousand years before she was born. 

Why you shouldn't read this book: If you don't like really long books that end when things are getting really interesting because they're the first tome in an epic series, you shouldn't read really long books in epic series. 

The Saga of Ilkay and Collected Stories

Written by: Natalie Wright

First line: Thundering hooves, a stampede of thirst compels them.

Why you should read this book: An entertaining collection of fairy tales, this slim volume is intended to represent a book found by a character in the author's Dragos Primeri series. The stories include those referenced in the books, as well as new stories that hint at relevance in later works, as well as poetry and illustrations. These are delightful tales of perseverance, determination, and love and may be enjoyed without reference to the original series.

Why you shouldn't read this book: It might be better if you had read the original series. 

Camp

Written by: Kayla Miller

First line: Olive! Earth to Olive! Are you listening?

Why you should read this book: Olive is excited about all the new activities she'll try and all the new friends she and Willow will make at overnight camp, but she doesn't anticipate that Willow is going to reject new experiences and demand that Olive serve as her emotional support human all summer! Olive does everything she can think of to help Willow feel safe and comfortable, but it's never enough, and when Willow won't even let Olive dance one dance with one boy, unthinkable words are said, and unthinkable actions are performed. How can Olive, who is friends with everyone, fix a problem that is caused by one of her friends not wanting her to be friends with everyone?

Why you shouldn't read this book: You still have unresolved trauma from an overnight camp you attended in the twentieth century. 

Just Jaime

Written by: Terri Libenson

First line: You always think bad things are going to happen to somebody else, not you.

Why you should read this book: Jaime knows that something is up with her best friend, Maya, who has been acting strange for weeks, but she doesn't anticipate Maya telling her that their friend group "had a meeting" and decided that Jaime wasn't part of the group anymore. It's the last day of seventh grade and Jaime has got to get through this entire day without her best friend, but she soon finds that she's not completely friendless, and that there's life after Maya. Maya, meanwhile, is starting to reconsider her position, wondering if trading her best friend for the approval of the most popular girl she knows was actually the best decision.

Why you shouldn't read this book: You can't hang out with someone whose puberty isn't proceeding along the exact same path as yours, at the exact same speed. 

Clash

Written by: Kayla Miller

First line: Okay, okay, but picture this...in a city where crimes and evildoings are piled so high that they've blocked out the sun, only one hero can see through the dark...The Owl!

Why you should read this book: Has Olive Branche, the girl who is friends with everyone, finally met the one person she can't make friends with? Nat is the new girl in school, so naturally Olive volunteers to show her around, but Nat seems more interested in figuring out which of Olive's friends are cool enough for her, and Olive isn't exactly feeling the love. The harder she tries to be nice to Nat, the more she feels pushed out of her circles, until Halloween night, when Nat's true face will be revealed. 

Why you shouldn't read this book: You're two-faced and insecure. 

Enola Holmes: The Graphic Novels Book One

Written by: Nancy Springer and Serena Blasco

First line: Enola, you'll manage well on your own, won't you?

Why you should read this book: I usually find graphic novel adaptations woefully inadequate, but as I haven't read the original book (although I did see both films on Netflix) this one seemed decent to me. Young Enola, the little sister of Mycroft and Sherlock, has no interest in being forced into a corset or the role of a lady, and when her mother disappears, she employs her considerable intellect to escape the confines of the life others have laid out for her. Donning a variety of disguises, she runs away to London and sets up shop as a specialist in missing persons cases, managing to find several missing persons while successfully evading her brothers, without making much headway in finding her mother. 

Why you shouldn't read this book: I'm guessing the original novel is better. It usually is. 

Myth-Chief

Written by: Robert Asprin and Jody Lynn Nye

First line: "I still think this is a bad idea," my attractive administrative assistant said, as I reached for the door of the tent.

Why you should read this book: I was obsessed with this series about a young magician with more heart than talent in the '80s, but at some point it started to seem kind of silly and I think I missed the last 2 books of the original run, and didn't read any of the collaborations with Nye; however, this volume was on a table of free books at a sci-fi convention and is apparently one of the last things he did before his death, so I thought I'd give it a shot. Skeeve the Magnificent decides to come out of retirement and set up shop as a magical consultant for unsolvable problems, but the way he left his old crew and the way he comes back proves problematic for those he considers his friends. Soon, Skeeve and his old mentor Aahz are embroiled in a vicious and very silly contest involving ghosts, foxes, glitter, gold, romance, backstabbing, naming rights, character assassination, and a surprising amount of cake, to prove who is the best in the business.

Why you shouldn't read this book: If you aren't fairly conversant with the series and the world it's set in, this won't make very much sense. 

Beauty's Kingdom

Written by: Anne Rice (writing as A. N. Roquelaure)

First line: Ah such a long and wearying day.

Why you should read this book: Many years ago, when I was technically too young to be in possession of such materials, I read the original Sleeping Beauty Trilogy, a lush BDSM-themed fantasy series about a kingdom of sexual delights centered around a culture of naked pleasure slaves, which had a formative influence on my adolescent imagination. In this final installment, Rice takes a different angle on her fantasy and her characters, telling the story primarily from the perspective of older, wiser characters with greater personal power and agency, in many cases addressing issues of gender and class that were ignored and glossed over in the first three books, offering more modern and sensible views on the ethics and reality of sexual servitude: roles are reversed, switching is rampant, and morality is a major theme. While this new book is, perhaps, less erotic and less magical as a result, it is still provocative and thoughtful, and, for fans of the series, offers a welcome update on the characters and the world, with a satisfying conclusion that remains true to the heart of the original.

Why you shouldn't read this book: Obviously, if you aren't excited by the idea of a BDSM-themed fantasy series, this is not for you; further, if what you liked about the original was the non-consensual nature of the servitude (or the rigid views of gender and sexual roles, or the liberal views on age of consent) you may be disappointed.

Llama Llama Time to Share

Written by: Anne Dewdney

First line: Llama Llama playing trains, driving trucks, and flying planes.

Why you should read this book: This is a read-aloud story in rhyming couplets for very young children, about the importance of sharing and the perils of not sharing. A new neighbor, Nelly Gnu, comes over to play with Llama Llama, and for a while he manages to handle this stranger playing with his toys, but when Nelly involves his favorite doll in the game, Llama finds he cannot share, with disastrous results. Eventually, the catastrophe is rectified and Llama learns it is more fun to share, and that doing so results in making new friends.

Why you shouldn't read this book: You are over the age of seven and you know how to share. 

The Dragon Prince: Bloodmoon Huntress

Written by: Nicole Andelfinger and Felia Hanakata

First line: You shall both be missed, Lain.

Why you should read this book: This is the second graphic novel in a series of prequels to the popular cartoon The Dragon Prince, depicting the young Moonshadow elf, Rayla, at a pivotal moment in her childhood. Filled with anger that her parents have chosen their sacred duty to Xadia as Dragonguards over family life in Silvergrove and left her in the care of foster parents, Ethari and Runaan, Rayla is more furious when she learns that Runaan is an assassin whose job is to kill those who threaten the elves. A chance meeting with a lost Skywing elf leads to a confrontation with an ancient evil, and Rayla learns what it means to sacrifice for your family and embraces her future career path. 

Why you shouldn't read this book: If you're a fan of the series, it's a fun, if lightweight backstory, but if you haven't seen the show, it probably makes very little sense. 

The Girl Who Married a Skull and Other African Stories: A Cautionary Fables and Fairy Tales Book

Edited by: C. Spike Trotman, Kate Ashwin, Kel McDonald, and Taneka Stotts

First line: Once there lived a young woman.

Why you should read this book: Like the other five books in this series, it compiles a diverse collection of stories from all over the continent, some modernized, others seemingly ancient, illustrated by a variety of artists who put their hearts into the subject matter. Monsters, talking animals, culture heroes, and clever children populate the pages, teaching caution and perseverance, offering lessons and merriment, and showing young readers a road map for navigating the world. Joyful, uplifting, and entertaining.

Why you shouldn't read this book: You're, like, a talking skull or something. 

The Sandman: Overture

Written by: Neil Gaiman and JH Williams III

First line: It was a small planet.

Why you should read this book: It's the prequel to the other Sandman books, published nearly 2 decades after the end of the series, which tells the story of the dangerous but important mission that took Morpheus away from his domain and led to his weakness and capture at the beginning of volume 1. Dream, at a convention of Dreams, comes to understand that the universe is in great peril, and it's entirely his fault for not doing his job correctly in the past. He comes to understand that there's nothing he can do to fix his mistake, which is then rectified pretty much by a literal deus ex machina and the literary equivalent of clapping for Tinkerbell.

Why you shouldn't read this book;  While following many of the successful conventions from the preceding books, including spectacular world-building and a brooding protagonist who basically tries to be a decent being despite also being a self-involved jerk, and containing appearances from many beloved secondary characters, as well as introducing Dream's mother and father (!), this story doesn't ever seem to have anything at stake.