The Warlord of Mars

Written by: Edgar Rice Burroughs

First line: In the shadows of the forest that flanks the crimson plain by the side of the Lost Sea of Korus in the Valley Dor, beneath the hurtling moons of Mars, speeding their meteoric way close above the bosom of the dying planet, I crept stealthily along the trail of a shadowy form that hugged the darker places with a persistency that proclaimed the sinister nature of its errand.

Why you should read this book: The incomparable Dejah Thoris has been locked in a tower with one faithful friend and one self-centered psychopath, and John Carter finds himself always one step behind in his attempts to rescue his beloved. Coveted by a holy Thern, a First Born, and pretty much every powerful man who sees her, the princess is dragged from the forbidden south pole of Mars, from which no man has ever returned, to the forbidden north pole of Mars, from which no man has ever returned, with John Carter always following close behind, leaving a trail of corpses in his wake. Already a wanted man for his work discrediting the evil religion of Mars, he stands for truth (when it suits him), justice (when there's time), and the bloody overthrow of tyrants (always), and lets his martial instinct guide him as he saves everyone on Barsoon from ignorance and the sad state of not submitting to the will of John Carter.

Why you shouldn't read this book: You're a big advocate of democracy.