The Gods of Mars

Written by: Edgar Rice Burroughs

First line: As I stood upon the bluff before my cottage on that clear cold night in the early part of March, 1886, the noble Hudson flowing like the grey and silent spectre of a dead river below me, I felt again the strange, compelling influence of the mighty god of war, my beloved Mars, which for ten long and lonesome years I had implored with outstretched arms to carry me back to my lost love.

Why you should read this book: Returned after a ten-year absence to his beloved Barsoomian home, John Carter finds himself unfortunately deposited in the forbidden Valley Dor by the lost Sea of Korus, the promised paradise of the Martian religion, from which place it is forbidden to return. Rather than heaven on Mars, however, the Valley Dor is a flat-out horror-fest, where pilgrims are eaten by hideous plant men and white apes, or else forced into slavery under the immoral holy Therns, who themselves live under the brutal hand of the wicked firstborn. If you read the first book, you know that John Carter must battle his way through untold danger, accompanied by faithful companions new and old, to overthrow the tyrant, save the damsel in distress, and prove his own superiority as the universe's ultimate fighting champion.

Why you shouldn't read this book: You can't stand cliffhanger endings.