The Thief of Always

Written by: Clive Barker

First line: The great, gray beast February had eaten Harvey Swick alive.

Why you should read this book: In the great modern tradition of children's literature that begins with a child so bored and jaded that he cannot appreciate the majesty of his own childhood, Harvey allows himself to be seduced away to the Holiday House where every morning is spring, every afternoon summer, every twilight Halloween, and every evening a Christmas Eve where you get exactly the present you desire. A kindly old woman prepares more delectable treats than you could eat in a lifetime, a series of bizarre creatures keep you in line, and your generous host, Mr. Hood, is nowhere to be found. When Harvey begins to suspect what sort of reality lies beneath the facade of his endless vacation, the part of him that burns bright rises up to take action, reclaim everything that's been stolen, and save all the children victimized by Mr. Hood.

Why you shouldn't read this book: It's a children's book written by one of the greatest horror writers of his generation. You do the math.