My Mom Is Trying to Ruin My Life

Written by: Kate Feiffer

First line: This is my mom.

Why you should read this book: It's a picture book, but it definitely speaks to the young tween: children old enough to actually be embarrassed by their parents. The little girl narrator admits that her mom is generally nice, but determines that certain habits (kissing her in public, prohibiting junk food) are deliberate attempts to ruin her life, and decides that her only option is to run away on her bike and get both of her parents arrested for ruining her life (her father also has some unfortunately habits, like making her do her homework and go to bed on time). Of course, contemplating life without parents becomes a little scary for the young protagonist, who eventually realizes that an orphan's life would be much, much worse.

Why you shouldn't read this book: You're unhappily ensconced in the foster care system.

The Contract with God Trilogy

Written by: Will Eisner

First line: All day the rain poured down on the Bronx without mercy.

Why you should read this book: Among the most prolific of the old school cartoonists, Eisner wrote this massive, three-volume work, one of the first-ever graphic novels, in his retirement, as a way to cope with the grief he suffered when his teenage daughter passed away. There are many stories here, all tied together by place: the ever-transitional immigrant neighborhood of Dropsie Avenue, peopled with a constantly changing cast of tenement dwellers, all looking for a way up. This is a genius work, filled with heartbreak and triumph, confusion and certainty, and all the stories of a hundred years, written with an expert ear for dialog and illustrated by a delightful pen.

Why you shouldn't read this book: You detest the cultural other, which is definitely defiling your way of life.

Then Again, Maybe I Won't

Written by: Judy Blume

First line: Who says March is supposed to come in like a lion and go out like a lamb?

Why you should read this book: When his sister-in-law gets unexpectedly pregnant and his father takes a leap of faith to earn more money for the family, Tony finds his entire life uprooted. He's no longer the son of a blue collar electrician but of a fabulously wealthy inventor, and he has to leave behind the life he loves in Jersey City and move to the alien upper class world of Rosemont. Money changes everyone, he feels, and like a less rebellious Holden Caulfield, he's now surrounded by phonies, constantly questioning his own, and his family's actions.

Why you shouldn't read this book: Shoplifting, voyeurism, class issues.

Deenie

Written by: Judy Blume

First line: My mother named me Deenie because right before I was born she saw a movie about a beautiful girl named Wilmadeene, who everybody called Deenie for short.

Why you should read this book: Another teenage novel that still scans perfectly after forty years on the shelf, it's the story of a seventh grade girl with a beautiful face and an unrealistic mother who is obsessed with her face and determined that Deenie's destiny is in modeling. Through this device, the story's real center is revealed: Deenie can't model as a teen because scoliosis is affecting her posture, and instead, she is doomed to spend the next four years in a rigid and obvious back brace, which, she is certain, makes her look like a complete freak. Deenie, and her mother, and her friends, and the eight grade boy who wants to make out with her, all have to learn to deal with the temporary inconvenience of the brace, and the permanent emergence of Deenie as a young woman who must choose to think for herself.

Why you shouldn't read this book: This book has been the focus of multiple censorship challenges due to its frank discussion of female masturbation, including that assertion that "It's normal and harmless to masturbate." Which it is. But some people have a strange idea that it's not, and those people, who doubtless live grim and cheerless lives, may have trouble digesting the rest of the story.

Aya

Written by: Margeurite Abouet and Clement Oubrerie

First line: 1978 was the year that Ivory Coast, my beautiful country, got to see it first television ad campaign.

Why you should read this book: Aya, the titular character (although not necessarily the main one: she introduces the story and observes the behavior of others without being affected by it too often) is a sensible girl who forgoes partying in favor of studying, dreams of becoming a doctor, and whose primary interaction with boys involves finding ways to escape street harassment. Her two best friends, Bintou and Adjoua love but don't understand her: Bintou cares for nothing but going out dancing, and Adjoua, whose motivations don't become clear until the end of the story, is primarily concerned with marrying well. This is a true YA work, one which speaks to the going concerns of a wide range of adolescents, but it's also a sort of a mystery (in the sense the Jane Austen's Emma is a mystery until you unravel who did what, where, with whom), which keeps the pace lively and the reader moving forward.

Why you shouldn't read this book: You don't have time for literature; you're studying for the MCATS.

The Garden of Eve

Written by: K. L. Going

First line: "Once there was a beautiful garden."

Why you should read this book: Evie's mom is dead and now there's no one to help her see the magic in the world, just her father and his ridiculous obsession with orchards. But maybe there is a seed of magic in the twisted, dying apple orchard he's just bought; everyone says it's cursed, even Alex, the ghost boy who lives in the cemetery across from her new house, but then again, if there are ghost boys, maybe there's also such a thing as magic. Together, and Alex and Evie start to unravel the mystery of what happened on this land many years before they were born, and what happens to the living when the dead leave them behind.

Why you shouldn't read this book: Dead moms. Dead siblings. Dead kids. Sort of a tearjerker.

An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth

Written by: Colonel Christ Hadfield

First line: The windows of a spaceship casually frame miracles.

Why you should read this book: This is literally the most inspirational thing I have seen in years: beginning with Hadfield’s decision, at age nine (immediately following the moon landing) to always make whatever choice an astronaut would make (despite his awareness that there was no such thing as a Canadian astronaut), the narrative follows Hadfield through his training and career, focusing primarily on his decision to always be prepared for everything, even the impossible, and to always take pride and pleasure in whatever activity he’s engaged in, no matter how difficult, boring, or disappointing it might be. Along the way, we’re treated to tantalizing views from space, little known details about an astronaut’s life and NASA’s inner workings, and Hadfield’s quirky, wide-eyed sense of humor and take on living life to its fullest. Simply an amazing story of an amazing life, told with grace and good will, which inspires readers to make the most of their existence by always working toward their goal without pinning any of their happiness on actually achieving it: love what you do, Hadfield says, and prepare for anything, and you can be as pleased with yourself as he sounds.

Why you shouldn’t read this book: You get motion sick just thinking about car rides.

The Grave Robber’s Apprentice

Written by: Allan Stratton

First line: Years ago, in the Archduchy of Waldland, on a night when the winds were strong and the waves were high, a boy washed ashore in a small wooden chest.

Why you should read this book: Gathering together familiar tropes from countless fairy tales and the occasional work of William Shakespeare, this book breathe fresh life into old archetypes to create a unique and satisfying work that inhabits worlds we already know, stitched together into a new and surprising tapestry. Angela, the Little Countess, is more or less happy in life until she learns that she must marry the repugnant, wife-killing Archduke Arnolf on her thirteenth birthday; Hans, the grave robber’s apprentice, is about to run afoul of his adoptive father due to his lack of interest in desecrating corpses. Together, they escape their respective horrible fates, do battle with monsters real and imaginary, uncover secrets long forgotten, and restore order to a kingdom crushed by evil and betrayal.

Why you shouldn’t read this book: You’ve ever considered murdering an older sibling to get your fair share of the inheritance.

Freaks

Written by: Kieran Larwood

First line: Sheba gazed through her tiny window to the seaside view beyond.

Why you should read this book: A really lovely offering in the steampunk genre for young readers, Freaks shares the journey of Sheba, a sideshow attraction with wolfish features and, sometimes, a wolfish personality. Lonely throughout life, she is happy to be purchased by a larger sideshow and taken to Victorian London in the company of other career freaks, but when she finds herself embroiled in a scheme to kidnap impoverished children for diabolical purposes, Sheba is imbued with purpose. Along with her new friends, Monkeyboy, Sister Moon, Gigantus, Mama Rat, and six trained rodents, Sheba is determined to crack the conspiracy and save some children even less fortunate than she is.

Why you shouldn’t read this book: A fair amount of poo throwing may be off-putting to some readers.

School of Fear

Written by: Gitty Daneshvari

First line: A bell is not a bell.

Why you should read this: Written with a quasi gothic sensibility (an atmosphere reinforced by illustrations reminiscent of Edward Gorey’s) this middle-grade novel follows the unlikely adventures of a quartet of fearful kids, brought together, some forcibly, at Mrs. Wellington’s School of Fear, for the purpose of learning to overcome their crippling phobias. Miss Wellington is an aging beauty queen who seems to know nothing whatsoever about children, education, or behavioral conditioning, and there are definitely all sorts of questionable secrets hiding in the walls of Summerstone, the crumbling mansion housing the school. Still, hundreds of former students and prominent persons attest to the efficacy of Mrs. Wellington’s unorthodox methods, so the children have no choice but to submit, until tragedy strikes, leaving them on their own, with their fears, and a new mission.

Why you shouldn’t read this book: While it presents as a sort of horror story, it’s really unspeakably silly. The nonsense is almost overwhelming at times.