How to Lose All Your Friends

Written by: Nancy Carlson

First line: If you don’t want to have any friends, follow these simple instructions:

Why you should read this book: A succinct primer with six easy steps not only for alienating any potential playmates, but also for irritating adults and turning yourself into a repulsive person who is unhappy and unlikable. Much more efficient than an etiquette book for the younger set, here you’ll find a fast overview of the worst childhood behaviors and the lovingly implied message. The choice is the child’s: choose to behave in an ugly fashion and have no friends, or eliminate these poor behaviors and find happiness.

Why you shouldn’t read this book: You have lots of friends and you have no trouble keeping them. 

Boots and the Glass Mountain

Written by: Claire Martin

First line: Boots was scared.

Why you should read this book: After his two older brothers fail to save the family’s crops from the trolls that devour all their grain on Midsummer’s Night, they doubt that little brother Boots will have the fortitude to overcome the monsters, but Boots girds his courage and, three years running, outwits the threat and wins a fine stallion each year. When the foolish king declares that the man who can ride up a glass mountain will win the hand of his daughter in marriage, Boots has an advantage over all the other knights. A lovely retelling of an old tale with many popular and familiar thematic elements.

Why you shouldn’t read this book: You think your youngest sibling is an incompetent dolt who can never surpass you in anything.

Tam Lin

Written by: Jane Yolen

First line: There was once a strange, forbidding castle with ruined towers on a weedy piece of land called Carterhaugh.

Why you should read this book: It’s a true fairy tale, with a strong female protagonist and a deceptive and chilling antagonist. The possibility of dread and ruin lurk on every page, while the redemptive power of love continues to strive against all odds. Yolen’s masterful retelling, along with Charles Mikolaycak’s lovely illustrations create a beautiful and chilling experience for the reader.

Why you shouldn’t read this book: You think fairies must be tiny happy folk with rainbow wings who live amongst the flowers and giggle an awful lot. 

The Secret Stories of Hotel Suites by Chelly Levin, Adulteress

Written by: Gloria Hollister

First line: The coffee was strong, and hot, and drinkable, which almost made up for everything else.

Why you should read this book: Chelly Levin is bored at work, bored in her marriage, unfulfilled as an artist, and rapidly approaching a flat, gray, middle age when Noah Grimm, a once-nerdy admirer from her childhood, appears in a whirlwind of change and whisks her off to a wonderland of sexual ecstasy. This somewhat trashy but eminently readable chick-lit novel makes no apologies for its close examination of an adulterous affair and its inevitable conclusion, and manages to titillate, entertain, and shock the reader on the way. Not for the faint of heart, but certainly for those who appreciate a little illicit and well-described sex.

Why you shouldn't read this book: You believe marriage vows are sacred and cheating should be punishable by death.

Fu-dog

 Written by: Rumer Godden

First line: “He’s hideous,” said Malcolm.

Why you should read this book: Li-la is not like the other girls in her English village; she is one-quarter Chinese, and every year her Great Uncle sends her a beautiful Chinese treasure on her birthday. This year, she receives the unusual green satin Fu-dog, who can talk, shares with her amazing details about her Chinese heritage, and promises to take her to London to meet the rest of her family. Dragging along her reluctant brother, Malcolm, Li-la  and Fu-dog take a magical adventure to Chinatown and learn what is truly important in life.

Why you shouldn’t read this book: You don’t believe in dragons or magical talking dogs.

The Ghost of Greyfriar’s Bobby

Written by: Ruth Brown

First line: “How long until we meet Mom and Dad?” Tom moaned.

Why you should read this book: Inspired by the true life story of a little dog’s devotion to his master, this charming picture book shows two modern children, bored of sightseeing, becoming interested in the history of Bobby. This faithful mutt spent fourteen years guarding the grave of his master, living in the churchyard, and being fed and cared for by the people of the village. A wonderful tale for jaded children, dog lovers, and history buffs.

Why you shouldn’t read this book: More of a cat person, really.

I Like Cats

Written by: Patricia Hubbell

First line: I like cats.

Why you should read this book: It’s full of delightful cats doing delightful (and sometimes not so delightful things). Simple rhyming couplets and bright cozy pictures comprise this list of kinds of cats that a person might like. The narrator, and presumably the reader, likes all of them.

Why you shouldn’t read this book: More of a dog person, really.

Nothing's Fair in Fifth Grade

Written by: Barthe DeClements

First line: Mrs. Hanson, our fifth grade teacher, was sitting at her desk grading papers.

Why you should read this book: Elsie Edwards is a fat, lying thief, and as far as Jenny Sawyer and her friends are concerned, that's three strikes against her. Nobody is willing to have anything to do with Elsie, until it turns out she's really good and math and Jenny can't understand fractions at all. When Elsie becomes Jenny's tutor, she learns to see Elsie through unclouded eyes, and as Elsie helps her, she begins to wonder what she can do to help Elsie.

Why you shouldn't read this book: Some of the ideas about weight in this book seem hopelessly quaint thirty years after its original publication.

Wonderstruck

 Written by: Brian Selznick

First line: Something hit Ben Wilson and he opened his eyes.

Why you should read this book: Wonderstruck comprises two beautiful, intersecting storylines: Rose’s story, communicated mostly in Selznick’s wonderful black and white drawings, shows the journey of a deaf girl who runs away from home in pursuit of an actress in 1927; while Ben’s story, set in 1977, tells of an orphan who also runs away in search of the father he never knew. The two children’s tales share remarkable similarities, with each character initially finding disappointment in New York, followed by the wonder of discovering the American Museum of Natural History. With vast attention to detail, historical accuracy, and the real and tempestuous emotions of childhood, followed by a long bibliography on related content, this notable book makes for a satisfying read.

Why you shouldn’t read this book: You think of museums as cold, sterile, dead places.

Octopus: The Ocean's Intelligent Invertebrate

Written by: Jennifer A. Mather, Roland C. Anderson, and James B. Wood

First line: Octopuses are amazing animals.

Why you should read this book: Indeed, octopodes (not octopi, we learn) are amazing, and while much evidence of octopus intelligence is anecdotal, this book brings together peer-reviewed, experiment based evidence of the intellectual capacity of this short-lived, long-armed cephalopod, along with detailed information about the animal's physiology, neurology, hunting and mating behaviors, and other little-known data about these fascinating creatures. The three co-authors have spent decades studying octopuses (the preferred plural) in the ocean, the aquarium, and the lab, and have brought together the results of their findings: that they are indeed highly intelligent, easily adaptable problem-solvers with individual personalities and preferences. The book includes a lovely selection of color plates depicting various species engaged in a variety of behaviors, along with an appendix discussing how best to keep an octopus alive and healthy in captivity.

Why you shouldn't read this book: Reviewing evidence of animal intelligence might clash with your diet or your religious beliefs.