Three-Martini Family Vacation: A Field Guide to Intrepid Parenting

Written by: Christie Mellor

First line: Raising children can be an incredibly time-consuming, often thankless pursuit, and although it is not without its rewards, we certainly could all use a little more time for ourselves.

Why you should read this book: With overt sarcasm, the author preaches to the choir in her castigation of overindulgent helicopter parenting, suggesting a return to intelligent limits on childish behavior and a refusal to hand children more power than their little minds can reasonably use. Targeting those adults who insist that every activity be child-friendly, that children be welcomed, regardless of behavior, into adult situations, that children's smallest whims be entertained at everyone else's expense, and that the child's world trumps any adult needs, this book offers a few sensible suggestions, couched in humorous garb, for reclaiming ones adulthood while teaching children not to whine, throw temper tantrums, or hijack the conversation when presented with unfamiliar foods or a few hours free from video technologies. Equally light-hearted and darkly ominous, this guide for those who need vacations from their children offers an interesting day trip far away from the world of juice boxes, baby sitters, and interrupted meals consisting of pizza, pasta, and white bread.

Why you shouldn't read this book: Your world revolves around your precious offspring's every whim, and you can't imagine why your miraculous progeny should be denied any little thing its heart desires.

Star Wars: Spaceships

Written by: Anonymous (for a good reason, I bet)

First line: Imperial Star Destroyer. This Spaceship is big and has smaller spaceships inside.

Why you should read this book: I am someone incredulous that this book exists. It's a baby board book detailing different spacecraft from the Star Wars universe, and the noises they make. It has shiny illustrations, sturdy pages for your infant to chew on, and very little relevance in terms of useful concepts that are typically included in such early learning material.

Why you shouldn't read this book: If you think this is appropriate reading material for your baby, you are an enormous geek, or George Lucas's personal yes man, or a slave to capitalism.